16/30

Last Wednesday I gave myself a goal of writing. Obviously I failed.
 
When writing this blog, I always try to be optimistic and hopeful. The truth is that during the first 2 weeks of radiation, I wasn't there. I wanted to be positive and upbeat, but I couldn't keep it up, so I chose not to write.  I maybe should have, but it would have been a sad post.
 
Luckily, I am feeling a little more myself and I am gaining better prespective on this whole thing. It might really take a lifetime for that, but I am working on it.
 
So,every weekday, I go to work. Instead of having a lunch break, I head dowtown for my radiation treatment. It takes about 30 minutes one way. A friend reccomended a book on CD and this has helped A LOT. Once I am at the hospital, the treatment only takes about 20 minutes and then I go back to work. The first week I was working my full schedule, but then I got a bad cold. I don't really get sick, so I thought maybe I was pushing my body a little too much. Now I leave from work a little early each day.  This and acupuncture seem to help.
 
What are treatments like?  Well, the whole machine looks like a CT scanner but with muscles. When I get in to the room, I put this helmet on that has a mouth piece and is molded to the back of my head. This helmet is then screwed into the table.  So basically, I am locked into this table. I hate to think what would happen if I threw up or needed to move my body.  Once the table and I become one, then I am positioned in a certain way for the radiation to start. There are four boughts of radiation.  The usually start on one side of my head or below and then make a full C.  I know it is happening because it makes a buzzing sound. It doesn't hurt or bother me.  Each arc needs my head in a certain position so they move the table between treatments. Once they do that 4 times, they lower the table, take off the helmet and it is done.  Really, that's all.
 
Today I am 16/30 treatments done.  Starting last week, my skin is getting a little irritated where my scar is.  There is a special radiation cream that I have. They tell me to use it 4 times a day. When ever I put it on, it is very cooling and it feels good.  I cannot for the life of me remember to put it on 4 times a day. I hope it is a cream that makes things feel good and not a cream to prevent damage. If it is the latter, I should try harder. I meet with the radiation oncologist weekly, and that is today. Maybe I should ask her.
 
Besides the skin feeling a little sore, I am doing pretty good. Earlier in the treatment, I was a little nauseous, but that has resolved. I am getting slight headaches, which are relieved by Tylenol and caffiene. I think my energy is a little low, but not too horrible.  
 
The truth is, I am just trying to be as normal as possible. Some days I achieve this, others not.
 
I look forward to when this is only a memory. Something I can draw upon when I need to, but I can mostly forget.