9-13-14

9-13-14

 

I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m always exhausted, but now I can never get the thoughts away. At first, it was that I was scared for my life, but now it is whatever the next step are. I just think about it and go over and over the dialogues in my head.

 

Besides learning the absolute diagnosis, last night I was worried about telling my mom.  As soon as it was official, we left and went to talk to my mom. Despite my worries, she took the news well.   I mean, this isn’t cancer. So that much is good.  It can be cured, that is also good.  This means major surgery for me, not so good, in fact the worst part.

 

My goal was to tell everyone in person, but I needed Renae’s help, so I had to tell her on the phone.  That wasn’t too much fun.  Then I told my Dad.  I think because I told two other people, I was feeling rehearsed and maybe told things too fast, but it was okay.

 

So now the next steps are telling my brother in Texas and all of Aaron’s family and then close friends and family.

For the friends, who do I decide to tell?  Hi, how are you doing, I am going to need brain surgery.  Ugh.  It’s like I have to re-hash things over and over. But, my friends deserve to know. They have been good friends and I have shared in their happiness. They can share in my sorrow.

Then what after that I guess facebook. I have been weaning off fb reciently, but is reason to restart.

I wish the world knew and we can all move on.

I feel like I have. And when I start to doubt it, I have a picture of my MRI scan in my phone that I have glimpsed at to revive my reality.