This morning I had a great (albeit rushed) breakfast which included the famous Honey Crisp Apples. I am so excited to eat these again. These are my perfect food. The crunchiness and sweetness of these can't be beat. After my breakfast (and a hospital meeting) I walked to work in the cool morning. I could see my breath a little, but I wasn't cold. I was perfect in my polar fleece. I could have walked forever. Well, I wish. After about 1/2 a mile, my lower belly gets a little sore and, well, I do have to work today.
Still, it was a nice piece of calm.
I had another opportunity for alone time. This last weekend the Kaufman Performing Arts center opened and it had a free open house. We were all going to go, but suddenly Henry declared that he was no longer afraid of fireworks and was ready to go to a baseball game. Seeing as this weekend was the last day game of the season, Aaron had to take him. Instead of going with them, I went to the open house by myself.
Parking was crazy and once I got to the center, the line was staggering. I got in the back of the line and was planning on just staying a little while. If the line moved fast, I would go in, but otherwise I would just go home. As I was standing in line, there was a drizzle of rain. I was warm with my coat and covered from the wet by my umbrella. Funny thing was, I felt very peaceful. I knew Henry was taken care of and hopefully having fun. I didn't have any pressing errands or projects. I could just enjoy this solitude among thousands of people. So, I stood there and waited.
After over an hour, I got into the center. The inside was pretty packed, but I found a seat in one of the theaters. I was just in time for a jazz show. It was a big band and they were playing old standards. As I watched, I felt a pang of regret. How I wanted to actually play again. While they were playing the old familiar songs, I knew all the correct positions and intonations for them. It seems like a lifetime ago that I actually played. Maybe sometime again, just not right now.
After the jazz band, I watched 4 other shows and walked around a little and then left. It was great. It did feel like a glimpse of what I could have been doing without medical school or kids. I could have played in a jazz band or orchestra. I could be going to performances left and right.
But I'm not.
It's okay. I have a great life and I know I chose the right path. Maybe in a few years, when I have more free time and the kids are older, I'll pick up where I left. I don't feel regret, I just hope the future involves me and music.
It was a great afternoon to sit back and enjoy myself and the arts. Oh, and by the way, Henry did pretty well at the game. Looks like next season will be promising for Aaron (good for Henry going to the games and maybe even good for the Royals).
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