RSV

I haven't posted in a while and I know I should, but I just don't know what to write. I like to have a concept or a funny story, or a major point before I actually write, but today I will just start and probably ramble.

Well, I went back to work about a week ago, and things went okay. It was easy for me to get back in the swing of things and see patients. I like my work and while I was there, I was happy to be there. A lot of families were happy to see me, which made me feel wanted. The main problem at this time was Frances. She is very dependent on me and missed me. She refused to take the bottle and was hard to coax to sleep. Before I came home at lunch she had a 30 minute crying spell refusing to eat for Aaron. This was not fun for neither Aaron or Frances and it did make me not enjoy work. I felt I needed to get home as quickly as possible to feed my girl.

Still, we were dealing with it, but then she got sick.

Well, actually Henry got sick first. He had a runny nose, cough and then developed a fever. On Friday, my second day of work, Frances started having a cough. During the weekend she developed congestion, fussiness, and things just seemed to get worse.  I actually don't like typing this, because in my mind I'm reliving it, and it is still too soon for me to think about.  She kept getting worse and she started to wheeze. I brought her into my clinic and she tested positive for RSV.  This was a big blow. I knew it could be bad. I saw so many kids in the hospital for RSV when I was a resident and I also knew about the correlation between it and asthma. Because I have asthma, I have always been scared my kids would get it too.  After the diagnosis, Frances still got worse. She was so congested and seemed to be struggling to breathe. It was hard to settle her down because she was fighting  o much to breath. That night she was crying, coughing, wheezing and breathing fast. I couldn't take it anymore so I brought her to the local emergency department. There she had a oxygen saturation of 99%, so even though she was working so hard, she had a normal oxygen saturation.  At home I stayed up with her until 3:30 or so, and she finally was able to sleep a little bit on my chest. I took the next day off and was with Frances constantly. I felt I needed to be vigilant in case something happened.  It was hard to watch her and frequently I felt overwhelmed. I remember wishing I could just fast forward this part of my life. Aaron stayed strong the whole time. It was what I needed. After that next 24 hours she started improving. Her congestion seemed less, so she could get more air into her lungs. She still wheezed quite a bit and had coughing spells, but at least she could breathe. Since then, every day has gotten a little better. About a week after she got sick, I finally felt she was going to be fine. After that my body seemed to relax and I suddenly felt very tired.  All the stress and not sleeping for a week can really add up. Today she has intermittent wheezing and lots of coughing after sleeping, but when she is awake, she is her smiley self.

It is really hard to be a parent to a sick kid. Luckily for me, this sickness is gone and she is fine. I can't imagine what a parent goes through with illnesses that are chronic or more severe.  I am very very fortunate, even if she develops asthma.