4 Weeks

So, she has been out of my belly now for 4 weeks. Pretty great! I can see changes in her face including the development of a double chin. She has come a far way in that little time.

For me, the biggest struggle by far is still the night time. She just never wants to stay asleep and now she is resisting falling asleep. I've been doing pretty good accepting her newborn-ness and being very attentive to her, but last night when she had been up for 2 hours with no end in sight, I was loosing my perspective. I just don't understand what I am doing wrong.  I'm probably doing nothing wrong, per say, but I don't think I am listening to her clues.  Looking back, I think the problem might have been that she wanted to be awake and I wanted her to be asleep. I thought she had figured out the day-night issue, but maybe not. She just might want to be awake more in general and she has picked that time to play.

Last night, the funniest thing is that I finally got her settled sleeping right next to me at about 2am or so and she slept and slept. She didn't wake up until 6:30.  So, I guess that is good, right? Ack, newborns are so confusing.  I will try to listen better to her needs, and also try to keep her awake a little more today.

A few days ago we introduced a pacifier. When she takes it, it really helps her, but sometimes she refuses it. I think this will help Aaron a lot when I am gone and she needs some comfort.

Another thing that is new with her is that she is starting to smile. It is not consistent, but it is always right in context, so I believe it. The first time it happened I was changing her diaper and put my face right in front of hers. She immediately smiled. I then gave her to Aaron where she smiled again. This morning I put her in a baby chair while I made myself breakfast. When I picked her up again, she looked at me and smiled. It's not all the time, but when it happens, man it's great!  Hopefully I am not just making this up because I love that little smile. 

Henry has still been doing great. Aaron and I are amazed at how well he is sleeping through the night. Frances' crying doesn't seem to wake him up at all. I hope this means good things when they share a room. Henry has been a little more frustrated than normal. He has what he calls a sad spot. When he is upset he goes to his room and sits on the middle of the bed. I believe we are supposed to come in and sooth him. Before Frances this would occur maybe once a week. Now it seems to happen a couple times a day. A good example of this is once for lunch he told Aaron he was done with his food so Aaron ate the rest of it. Later Henry came back to eat more and discovered Aaron ate it all. Well, he got sad so he went to his room. A little ridiculous, but also it seems mature. Instead of acting out he removes himself from the situation and then later will get the attention that he wants.

Speaking of attention, the one thing I haven't paid much attention to is myself. I look in the mirror and I can see all those sleepless nights. I usually shower about every other day and to be honest, usually change clothes every other day too. I haven't worn any make-up for about a month and all I can think about is sleeping and eating (in that order). I did, however, do something good for myself a few days ago. I got on our treadmill and walked for about 30 minutes. Thinking back I don't know how I had the energy, but I hope to do it again soon. This (hopefully) is the start of getting myself back.