Henry's birthday

 Since Henry's birthday is on Halloween, it is always extra special on that day. I don't know why, but both Aaron and Henry wanted his party on his actual birthday. I had to work until 12:30 so it was a tight schedule, but Aaron did all the research and preparing and made things happen.  Scrambling for a party venue, we found a great store in Linden Hills called Heartfelt.  I recommend this to anyone without reservations!  She had a  premade birthday party where they would make swords, have a scavenger hunt and shoot crossbows.  Not this is totally up every 8 year old boys alley, but it was even more so for my Hanky.

 I really think this was the perfect place for the party.  All of Henry's friends are so well behaved and creative, everything went without a hitch. They started the afternoon with a little discussion on what was going to happen and the different steps they would take.  I was still driving during this time, but apparently the parents were a little rowdy and needed a talking to. I'm a little glad I missed that point When I got there, all the kids were paying attention and EVERYONE was quiet.

 The first thing they did was decorate their swords. It was done with a waxy crayon tip thing that also had some metallic on in.  My personal favorite was the Griffindor sword that one of Henrys friends make.  Every sword looked great and so unique.

 Once they colored the swords, they got a leather hilt on them and jewels were placed on the handle.

 After a quick snack, it was time for a treasure hunt. There were small jewels hidden in the store for all the kids. They got baskets and each had to find 7 jewels.

 Here you can see all the great swords they made.

 After some face painting, it was time to test out the swords. I am happy to report that no one got injured and everyone had fun.

 Next they fired the cross bow into a fake tree where holes are present. Everyone waited so patiently for a turn, and when Frances actually got her arrow into the hole, all of Henry's friends clapped..  What a great group of friends!

With Henry getting another year older,  it makes me even prouder to watch what he is becoming. He is a very kind, sensitive and caring young man.  He does great in school, loves sports and even loves crafting with his mom.  I mean, what more can I ask for?  Nothing, he is the best!

Goodbye Pacis

Unlike Henry, Franny was a pacifier kid. She wanted and got them pretty much all the time until we eventually switched to only using them for naps and nights. It had been that way for quite awhile, with her attachment to them never waning. Laura and I had felt for awhile that we needed to stop them entirely soon, and had talked to her occasionally for a couple of months how she'd be done with them at some point. She didn't like the idea, but we told her she could choose a toy when the time came. On October 24th, I got to sleep in while Laura was up with the kids, and when I got up I was informed this was the day. Franny wanted to go pick a toy. She chose Tinkerbell and Periwinkle figures. Since Henry never got an end of paci toy, he got to choose one too and picked Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots.

I wanted Franny to understand this was 100% the end, and also not allow the possibility of us giving in, so I chopped up her pacis in front of her and threw them away. She didn't care at all as I did it. She didn't take a nap that day, which was not super unusual, though she was taking naps more often than not at that point. Bed time was of course a little difficult. She moaned the word, "paci" over and over, but almost in mourning more than as a demand. She cuddled between Laura and me on the couch and moaned pitifully but got to sleep fairly quickly. I carried her to bed after awhile, and we had no idea what to expect for the night. She made it to 3:00 before she woke up extremely upset in that out-of-it way. Laura tried to console her for a long time without much luck. Eventually Franny said only watching a show would calm her down. Sounded like a bad idea to me, but Laura turned on the iPad with her around 3:30. Franny did calm down and went back to sleep after they watched for about half an hour. Was a good idea after all. The next night it was slightly difficult to get her to sleep, but she slept all night long with no problem. The next night was a little easier, and then it was pretty much a non-issue at night.

Unfortunately though, naps have pretty much gone out the window without pacis. I'd be OK with this if it weren't for the fact that she seems to still need naps. She had very few meltdowns before, but since the naps have stopped, they've become common. It's been two weeks without a paci now, and she's taken one real nap, with a couple of short snoozes in the car, in that time. Still adjusting to a new sleep schedule. Mostly she's still sweet Franny, just with some bonus fits of exhaustion fueled unreasonableness and tears. Time keeps marching on.

Halloween 2015

Princess Elsa & MegaMan got their trick-or-treat on in Hopkins with Dad, Grammy, & Poppy. (Princess Elsa kept her face paint on from MegaMan's birthday party that afternoon.) So much excitement and cuteness, such as Franny starting to yell "trick or treat!" from the sidewalk as she runs up to a door.

Screen Printing

 Aaron's big contribution this week was screen printing. Aaron screen printed our wedding invitations, but this has been on the backer burner, oh for about 10 years or so.  Aaron bought some light activated screen emulsion off the Internet. He thought they came with screens, but they did not. 

 So we all went to the craft store together. Man, the kids love the craft store. I do too. They rows are filled with endless potential.  Well, we did not leave the store with just a screen, but that's okay.

 The kids chose their own designs, Aaron reconfigured a KLF image and then he created a Solyntjes-Stilley emblem for me using our wedding invitation as a template.

 As you can see, Aaron's turned out pretty good. Mine did too.  Both Henry's and Frances' had some areas where the paint did not go through. This could have been because they didn't push hard enough with the squeegee or that it wasn't a good print to begin with.

 Evan with the sparse areas, the kids are happy with them. I am too. This is good first attempt. Aaron has learned some things and next time will be even better.

 Sometime in the future I envision my whole family running a race with matching track suits and shirts with the Solyntjes-Stilley logo.  I just have to find the right race and convince Henry it would be fun.  I just accidentally deleted the S-S logo. Maybe it is destiny.  I guess I'll wait to show everyone until we run our race.

In other news, we have a new addition to the household. I have been pretty bad with taking care of plants, but this last year, I have kept TWO plants alive!  I thought this called for a celebration. Franny and I went to a great indoor plant place and bought a new succulent.  It's larger than my other two, but maybe that makes it even harder to kill, right? We'll see.

Creative Week

 Since last week we have been trying to be more creative, and you know what? It's working. It started with apple pie.  We use this crank that peels, slices and cores all at once. We only use it about once a year, but when we do, it is great.  Actually, I should probably use it more and Henry did really love do it it.

 Frances could have done without the whole ordeal, including the apple pie. I guess she thought it looked weird or something.  More for us! The apple pie was gone within two days and the apples we picked were gone within a week. By the way, I need to buy more apples.

 I have read two chapters of The Artists Way for Parents. Aaron has read the preface. He started asking the kids about their day right before bedtime. I was all like" You read the book"  and he was all like "just the beginning."

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 I let Aaron design the pie and can you tell what he wrote?  I didn't think so.  Well, it is "equinox" because that is when we made it.

The next creative adventure occurred because of Henry's open house at school. His teacher mentioned she needed some bags for everyone to put their spelling words into.  Because I work full time and am not an extrovert, it has been hard in the past to get involved. This task was right up my alley! I spoke to his teacher that night and pledged as many bags as I could sew over the weekend.

Henry and Frances were excited to help me.  I let Henry drive the sewing machine himself..  He loved it.  Me, being a little over protective was telling him all the ways he needed to be careful.  He told me "I never knew sewing could be so dangerous." Yes Henry, yes it can be.  Frances seems to have no concern about the really pointy thing in the middle of the machine. Because of that, she sat on my lap and just "helped" me.

I love the fact that they are so interested.  I hope I can keep their sewing interests going.  In the end, I made 14 bags over the weekend. I was only 4 bags short, so we quickly made those on Monday.  Henry's teacher said that he was bringing a surprise and I think the kids all loved the different bags to put the spelling words. I got a great little thank you card and all the kids signed it.  I think I will try to push out of my comfort zone and help a little more at school.  The rewards are high.

Last week Farmer Laura came to deliver our vegetables and asked when we were coming to the farm. This was the last week for delivery so time was running out. We had so much fun last year and didn't want to loose the opportunity, so we came the next weekend. I'm glad we did because the family had a blast (although Frances got a little tired of it)

We ended picking lots.  With all the stuff we picked, we made: homemade pasta sauce (thanks Phil), pesto sauce, veggie fries (kohlrabi and dichon radishes) and just ate lots of fresh carrots. The veggie fries were okay, but mostly because I dipped them in ketchup to mask their flavor.

We also picked a ton of pumpkins and butternut squashes, some for baking and some for carving.  I can wait to make it all: pumpkin cookies, pumpkin bread, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin pie....

I made the mistake of letting Frances wear her favorite shoes, her sandals.  Because of this, I ended up carrying her the last have of our journey. As a parent, it is hard to decided what to let go and what to enforce. I guess I made the wrong choice, but now because of it have strong forearms!

I think we are loving trying to be more creative.  Aaron even has our next event planned out...stay tuned.

Apple Picking

Yesterday we had the quintessential fall experience: apple picking!  Every year I get this yearning, and this year was no different.  Even in Iowa and Missouri, I had to find orchards to fulfill my craving.  This year we were here in MN and the choices were abundant.  We chose to go to Minnetonka Orchards. It was a great place, maybe too many bees, but that's a little hard to control, seeing how you need bees in the first place to make the apples.

Last year my family went by ourselves, but this year we were lucky enough to go with my sister and my two good friends.  It made it much more enjoyable for the kids and also tired us out quite well.  I know my kids slept well. 

I brought my camera with and got a ton of good pictures. Man these kids are photogenic.  It makes my job easy.  I tried to pare them down to a reasonable level for this blog.  If it is still too much, well sorry about that.

 For book recommendations, I have a list going on in my phone. When ever I hear the same things from two different people, that book goes to the top of my list. This just happened and I'm glad it did.

One of my friends was reading The Artist's Way by something Cameron and then when I was talking to another friend they mentioned there was the same book for kids.  I don't know where I heard it, but somewhere someone said the secret of happiness is creativity.  I think that is true.  Well, then, I should probably strive to be more creative for me and for my kids.

I think with raising kids, it is hard to narrow down what to focus on.  We can make sure they are working hard on their academics, or sports, or manners, or music, or free play, or many many other things.  I find myself overwhelmed.  I, of course, want to give all the tools necessary for my kids to become successful adults, but life is short on time and energy.

If I think creativity is so important and it can make people happy, then why don't I read this book?  Well, I have started and I am quite impressed.  So impressed, Aaron and I will strive to make this semester all about creativity.  Henry is excited about what is to come. He loves creating and crafting.  Franny will go along with anything as long as it appears we are all having fun.

I've only read the preface and the first chapter, but I have the jist of what to do.  To teach creativity to your own child, you have to start with yourself.  That makes sense.  The author referred to putting on your own oxygen mask in a plane before you put one on your kids. To fully do this, she wants the adults to write in a journal every morning for three pages. It has to be long hand and it has to be only for your eyes.  This way the intention is only for you. 

 The next step is to have creative adventures with your kids once a week. It can be small things like a craft at home, or more intentional like an art museum.  I really like the thought of this. I have already brainstormed about 30 or so activities for my family.

 The first of these was apple picking.  While I was there, I was paying attention to an open agenda and letting my kids decide a lot of the choices.  The clearing my mind of a concrete plan on how to tackle the apple orchard,  it made me able to enjoy more of the details and the individual qualities of everyone. I like having a plan and I need to remember that it is okay not to have one.

 I also bought the kids some blank journal where they can summarize the adventures with words or pictures.  They are not here yet, but I hope to use them for the next adventure.

 The last step of The Artist's Way is checking in with your kid and recapping the day. What went well, not so well, what was fun, etc.  It helps the kids learn to communicate and I think its good for bonding.  We kind of do this anyway during dinner, although Henry is pretty mum, even with open ended questions.

 To be honest, I think I'm going to start with 2/3.  Right now, I am going to focus on the latter two parts. I am exercising in the morning sometimes and I don't want to take that away.  Exercising clears my mind and prepares me for the day, so in a way, they are kind of the same, right?

 So for our next adventures, we have a couple things planned.  My friend told me she was going to bake an apple pie on the first day of fall (next Wednesday).  Henry thought that was a great idea, so we will be doing it too, all together.

 Then sometime next week, we will go to the aquarium. Besides seeing all the cool fish, our goal will be to try to find fish all the colors of the rainbow and maybe sketch them in our adventure book if it comes in time. 

 Off the top of my head, the other things we might do is: playground expresss, zoo, cookie challenge,  Minneapolis instute of art, sculpture garden, nature walk with leaf collections, and make play-doh.

 I like the thought about thinking what the kids would enjoy and what I would and trying to squeeze it in during the week.  Aaron is also for this, but as of right now I am spear heading it.

 Oh, speaking of Aaron, he could not come to pick apples because he had his final 1860's rule baseball game.  It was perfect weather and he played well.  I'm glad Aaron could find some baseball nerds like himself.  Minneapolis is a big city, you just have to hunt to find people. 

 I think Aaron plans on playing next year too. We only went to one game of his during the season. Hopefully we can go to more next year.  Maybe we need some period outfits too...hmmmm.

 For Halloween I have already agreed to sew costumes for Henry and Franny.  I suppose I could add in some old timey clothes as well.  That is, if I ever get down to the sewing machine.

 Well, I did it, I managed to write words between every picture.  Hope you enjoyed our first adventure!

One Year after an Acoustic Neuroma

Aaron has done a great job recapping all that we did this summer.  Instead of continuing the summations, I am writing to fixate on one day, one scary day one year ago on the 11th of this month.

I knew something was wrong with me. I went to a specialist and tried to have them convince me it was not an acoustic neuroma. They couldn't, and so ordered an MRI. After I got the scan, I made the mistake of looking at the MRI without an official reading.  I don't think any physicians could wait for an official read while the results are in their hand (CD).  When I looked at the scan, I saw something HUGE.  That evening was the scariest night of my life.  As soon as I got home from work I grabbed Aaron's hand and I don't think I let go for 16 hours or so (even at night).  Scary end of life thoughts were flitting through my head at an uncontrolled pace.  Those thoughts always came back to my kids and family.

Now flash forward a year.  Through brain surgery, five days in the hospital and months recovering at home, past 6 weeks of radiation with fatigue clicking up a notch every time the invisible rays flitted through my skull, past somnolence syndrome and then weeks of steroid treatment needed control its symptoms. Past it all

Now it's fall.

I feel pretty normal.  I've realized now that the daily headache I was so used to, now has vanished.  The headache after exercise is also gone. I still have headaches, but they are sporadic and they are not needing medication. This is a HUGE improvement that just crept up on me. I only noticed it because I was reflecting on this anniversary.  My right ear hearing is trashed, but with a hearing aid, things are manageable. My balance is pretty good, but during the twilight hours it is harder to balance.  When I spin at all or look far to the right, the room will still spin.  Even the thought of a roller coaster sends a little nausea bubble to my stomach. I used to love those things!  I can ride a bike, I read well, and do so often.  I now have started going back to the gym and am even incorporating weights into my routine.  If you saw me on the street, you would  never know.

Through all this, I have learned to be kind.  It does reiterate that everyone has their own silent struggles. But for me, the kindness was more to myself. All in all, I have done damn well.  Sure, there have been a few set backs and mistakes, but I need to forgive myself and allow the slow ascent back to normalcy.

I remember scouring websites looking for acoustic neuroma stories.  I knew everyone was different, but I wanted a hint of what things were to come .  I also craved personalization, where all of the facts I read about were sterile and comparing hundreds of people.  I needed one.  Maybe I will be that one for someone. If I am, or if anyone else wants to know...I am okay.