My life is getting back to normal. I still get headaches and have more fatigue than normal, but I FEEL more myself. That is a good thing. Sometimes I think back and say to myself "did that really happen" but then I see the huge scar on my head and I know it did. It did happen. I even try to remember how scared I was, but I don't get scared anymore. I want to remember what I cared about in that time and what I feared, so I can face it and live accordingly.
The truth is that the most important thing was my family. I thought about Frances and Henry a lot. I was sad that maybe I would not be there to grow up, but I also didn't want to traumatize them with my illness. Luckily I am not going down that road.
Instead, I get to write this while Christmas music is streaming, my husband is putting up the tree, my son is reading quietly and my daughter is munching on a graham cracker. Yes, I am fortunate.
I was able to have three whole days of Thanksgiving, and it was wonderful. It started out with a Turkey Trot. Henry and Frances ran an indoor race. It was Frances' first time in a race and she absolutely loved it. It was hard for her to wait until they said go. She had a couple of false starts and she might have gotten a little head start when she finally did go. More races are definitely in her future. Henry did good too. He was very serious about the whole event, but I know he liked it. Aaron ran a really good race and placed 17th in his age group. This is really good for him.
As for me, I did pretty good. I have only ran twice since the injury and it was on the treadmill. I wasn't sure how the race would go. I had the plan of running until I warmed up and then walk/run the rest. That is exactly what I did and I ended up only walking three times. When I started, I noticed the world was bobbing a little more than I was used to, but it was okay. Then about half way through I really had to use the bathroom and that took up all my concentration. Looking back, it was probably a good distraction. When I crossed the finish line, I felt great! I didn't feel exhausted nor did I have a headache. I quickly found a bathroom and then found Aaron.
After the race we went to my parents house and the celebration commenced. It ended yesterday and was a fun time. After all the excitement of the holidays, I ended up taking a 2 hour nap and then going to bed at the normal time. I guess I'm not quite normal, but close.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Back at Work
Today I went back to work. I only worked four hours and only saw 3 patients, but hey, it is progress.
Of course, when I finally go back to work, Henry had to be a little sick. 2 days ago he had bilateral pink eye and stayed home for that, then that night he had a croupy cough but was breathing okay, and last night had a fever What a boy! He is doing pretty good now and has liked his mini vacation from school even if it means a little coughing. It just made it harder for me to leave him.
Frances has been very clingy to me since I came back from the hospital. I figure right now I have a 50% chance of using the restroom alone. I was a little worried she wouldn't take the transition well, but she did fine today.
Two days ago I went to the nurse practioner for a check up and she was happy with the progress my wound had made. Aaron still needs to dress it two times a day, but now only needs to do so for a week. She also said it was fine for me to go back to work. I am starting part time because I might not be able to multitask well and I will be more tired than normal. Today I really didn't have the opportunity to multitask, but I can admit to being a little more tired than normal. I went home and rested a little, and then I was fine.
It feels good to be acting a little more normal.
Of course, when I finally go back to work, Henry had to be a little sick. 2 days ago he had bilateral pink eye and stayed home for that, then that night he had a croupy cough but was breathing okay, and last night had a fever What a boy! He is doing pretty good now and has liked his mini vacation from school even if it means a little coughing. It just made it harder for me to leave him.
Frances has been very clingy to me since I came back from the hospital. I figure right now I have a 50% chance of using the restroom alone. I was a little worried she wouldn't take the transition well, but she did fine today.
Two days ago I went to the nurse practioner for a check up and she was happy with the progress my wound had made. Aaron still needs to dress it two times a day, but now only needs to do so for a week. She also said it was fine for me to go back to work. I am starting part time because I might not be able to multitask well and I will be more tired than normal. Today I really didn't have the opportunity to multitask, but I can admit to being a little more tired than normal. I went home and rested a little, and then I was fine.
It feels good to be acting a little more normal.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Halloween
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Update
It has been about a week since I posted. With Halloween/Henry's birthday, things got busy. That is probably a good thing. I am feeling okay. The headaches now are usually mild and not to disabling. I usually take Tylenol once a day, and I take coffee in the morning. These two things usually keep the headache at bay.
Henry's school had a costume parade that was heavily attended and I got to go to this. Theoretically it should have been great. Practically, it was a lot of looking left then right and my head didn't like it. After I saw Henry, I went home and rested because my head was pounding. At Henry's birthday party I also noticed my head was a little wonky watching nine kids play their heart out. It shows me that my body is still not perfect and maybe being home with the lack of multiple stimulations it not necessarily a good thing. The more my body heals, the better, but it might need the opportunity. Work can do that for me, and I plan on going to work next week if the nurse practioner lets me.
My wound is healing slowly, but it is healing. Aaron is doing a great job of dressing it two times a day. I might need to wear a hair band to work, but that is okay. I am wearing one 24-7 anyway, so it is not much off a change. I just would really like to be healed completely before I start work, but I think that might be too much to ask for.
So, that is where I am right now. I guess pretty good.
Henry's school had a costume parade that was heavily attended and I got to go to this. Theoretically it should have been great. Practically, it was a lot of looking left then right and my head didn't like it. After I saw Henry, I went home and rested because my head was pounding. At Henry's birthday party I also noticed my head was a little wonky watching nine kids play their heart out. It shows me that my body is still not perfect and maybe being home with the lack of multiple stimulations it not necessarily a good thing. The more my body heals, the better, but it might need the opportunity. Work can do that for me, and I plan on going to work next week if the nurse practioner lets me.
My wound is healing slowly, but it is healing. Aaron is doing a great job of dressing it two times a day. I might need to wear a hair band to work, but that is okay. I am wearing one 24-7 anyway, so it is not much off a change. I just would really like to be healed completely before I start work, but I think that might be too much to ask for.
So, that is where I am right now. I guess pretty good.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Better News
Today I met with both the nurse practioner and the neurosurgeon. They looked at my wound and then the neurosurgeon looked at my phone pictures of my wound. They determined that I do NOT need surgery to close it up. This is a huge relief to me. I was trying to be positive, but the possibility of another surgery was really bumming me out. Now, I can be my normal optimistic self again.
Instead of surgery, I have to clean the wound and pack it twice a day. Now when I say "I," it will actually be Aaron instead of me. It is a little hard for me to do it myself since I would have to look into a mirror and do everything backwards. It shouldn't be too tough for Aaron and throughout this, he hasn't seemed grossed out yet. I suppose this will be the real test. I'm not sure how long this will be, but the wound has to heal up before Aaron is done. It could be one week or more....
The neurosurgeon hasn't seen me since I left the hospital. He asked me how my energy was (good) and specifically if I had been reading or not (no). I told him I was going to force myself to read but I accidently got the book in Spanish. He said I shouldn't force it. I told him that force was a bad word. I would obviously stop if I had a headache or it became too hard, but I wanted to start getting acclimated to reading because I would have to do a lot of it at work. He seemed to understand and was okay with my explanation. Before he left, he commented on how good my facial muscles were doing. I agreed with him. It is nice to know he is happy with the result.
I was dreading this visit today, but it turned out okay. I have more work to do regarding my wound, but it is okay, because I don't need surgery!
Instead of surgery, I have to clean the wound and pack it twice a day. Now when I say "I," it will actually be Aaron instead of me. It is a little hard for me to do it myself since I would have to look into a mirror and do everything backwards. It shouldn't be too tough for Aaron and throughout this, he hasn't seemed grossed out yet. I suppose this will be the real test. I'm not sure how long this will be, but the wound has to heal up before Aaron is done. It could be one week or more....
The neurosurgeon hasn't seen me since I left the hospital. He asked me how my energy was (good) and specifically if I had been reading or not (no). I told him I was going to force myself to read but I accidently got the book in Spanish. He said I shouldn't force it. I told him that force was a bad word. I would obviously stop if I had a headache or it became too hard, but I wanted to start getting acclimated to reading because I would have to do a lot of it at work. He seemed to understand and was okay with my explanation. Before he left, he commented on how good my facial muscles were doing. I agreed with him. It is nice to know he is happy with the result.
I was dreading this visit today, but it turned out okay. I have more work to do regarding my wound, but it is okay, because I don't need surgery!
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Not So Good News
Yesterday I went back to neurosurgery. I was super excited because my wound was looking great compared to last week. It wasn't weeping anymore and the redness had improved. I was ready to get the stitches out and move on. When I saw the nurse practioner, so agreed that things looked better, but she still wasn't happy with them. Because it had been three weeks, she took out the stitches, but she didn't want to. You see, there is an area right behind my ear where the edges of the skin is not together. She measured it, and the area is 2cm long and 0.5cm wide.
Because this spot, I have two days. I have two days for my body to turn things around. If not, I have to go back into surgery for a deep cleaning of the wound. This would be an overnight stay in the hospital and everything. I go back in tomorrow to see the nurse practioner and the surgeon. I realize I am pretty helpless in this situation, but I REALLY don't want to go back into surgery. The surgery wouldn't go deep within my brain, but I would have to do all the painful IV stuff and be intubated and stay in the hospital. That would not be fun at all.
I am telling myself that it could be worse. The outcome of the first surgery was great and left me with a normal face. If I have to deal with a little wound issue, well so be it. I can deal with that, it is a short term problem that can be fixed. I think I am a little more miffed because things were going so good I expected smooth sailing to the finish line. I should have known better. That is never the case.
Because this spot, I have two days. I have two days for my body to turn things around. If not, I have to go back into surgery for a deep cleaning of the wound. This would be an overnight stay in the hospital and everything. I go back in tomorrow to see the nurse practioner and the surgeon. I realize I am pretty helpless in this situation, but I REALLY don't want to go back into surgery. The surgery wouldn't go deep within my brain, but I would have to do all the painful IV stuff and be intubated and stay in the hospital. That would not be fun at all.
I am telling myself that it could be worse. The outcome of the first surgery was great and left me with a normal face. If I have to deal with a little wound issue, well so be it. I can deal with that, it is a short term problem that can be fixed. I think I am a little more miffed because things were going so good I expected smooth sailing to the finish line. I should have known better. That is never the case.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
A Lesson in Patience
Yesterday went pretty well. The pace of life was definitely slower because of a little girl named Frances. It all started with the car. She knows I cannot lift her and that it is her job to climb into the car seat. After dropping off Henry, I had a couple errands to do before going to my parents house. Unfortunately for me, these were the type of errands that required me to leave the car. It seemed like each time we got back to the car, Franny was slower and slower getting into the car seat. There was one time I just gave up trying to convince her to get into the car seat. I shut the back door and got into the front seat and told her to tell me when she was ready to get into the car seat. After about 10 minutes playing all over the car, she was finally ready.
We got to my parent's house a little late and had to skip the morning walk because Ruby was already asleep (don't worry, we made up for it later). After lunch time, it was time to try to get Frances to nap. At home she sleeps in a crib and here at my parents, she is in a bed. A bed that you can climb out of. I laid with her for about 20 minutes, and after repeated asking to wake up and get out of bed, I conceded.
After non-nap time, Franny got a little play time with Ruby and then it was time to get Henry at school. After cajoling her into the car seat once more time, we picked up Henry and then...Franny fell asleep in the car. I was stuck. I couldn't lift Franny and I didn't especially want to wake her up, so I let Henry go inside my parents house and I stayed with her in the car, just doing nothing while she slept.
Once she woke up we went inside and pretty soon it was time for dinner. I was going to grab some Papa Murphy's but Fran started crying and saying that she wanted to come with me. I didn't want to battle her in the car anymore, so I had my mom go instead.
After dinner...bedtime. I don't need to go over everything, but I had to lay in bed with her for 45 minutes before she finally fell asleep. I sure missed the crib where she is trapped and can't get out even if she wanted to.
So really, yesterday was all about Frances.
We got to my parent's house a little late and had to skip the morning walk because Ruby was already asleep (don't worry, we made up for it later). After lunch time, it was time to try to get Frances to nap. At home she sleeps in a crib and here at my parents, she is in a bed. A bed that you can climb out of. I laid with her for about 20 minutes, and after repeated asking to wake up and get out of bed, I conceded.
After non-nap time, Franny got a little play time with Ruby and then it was time to get Henry at school. After cajoling her into the car seat once more time, we picked up Henry and then...Franny fell asleep in the car. I was stuck. I couldn't lift Franny and I didn't especially want to wake her up, so I let Henry go inside my parents house and I stayed with her in the car, just doing nothing while she slept.
Once she woke up we went inside and pretty soon it was time for dinner. I was going to grab some Papa Murphy's but Fran started crying and saying that she wanted to come with me. I didn't want to battle her in the car anymore, so I had my mom go instead.
After dinner...bedtime. I don't need to go over everything, but I had to lay in bed with her for 45 minutes before she finally fell asleep. I sure missed the crib where she is trapped and can't get out even if she wanted to.
So really, yesterday was all about Frances.
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