Garden

Our lawn is a mess, I admit it.  Aaron and I don't really know much about caring for the lawn. Our usual plan is to mow when it either looks really long or our neighbors mow and make our lawn look terrible by comparison (but really it needs no comparison). Throughout the years Aaron has tried planing new seeds and mulching a little, but still our lawn is pretty bare. In the areas that it is not bare, it is mostly weeds. Besides our lack of knowledge, I think the main reason we have the problem is that the lawn is hard and bumpy. Don't worry, we're calling in the professionals.

Even with our lack of knowledge, we have been inspired. On Earth Day we all went to church and it was all about sustainability and environmentalism. They even put on the play "The Lorax" for the kids (Henry loved it). After the play, they gave all the kids a flower and a package of flower seeds. It was very sweet and Henry had a great time. Two days ago Henry and I planted his flower and seeds, but that wasn't enough. Since the sermon, I started thinking about having a vegetable garden again. The last time we did this was during our first year with the house. I was still a resident and worked way too much.  Aaron was staying at home with Henry part time ( I think).  What I remember most is our enthusiastic start. We grew some lettuce, then the rabbits ate that, then the weeds came. Our enthusiasm dwindled until the garden was just a dirt pile.  Oh, how sad.  Here are some old pictures.

Henry Helping with the digging

I know you can't see the garden, but isn't he adorable?

The only one in the family interested in pulling weeds

Now onto the new.  Yesterday we had a great busy day digging up the garden and preparing the soil. We even managed to plant the seeds. We planted: watermelon, carrots, edamame, spinach, lettuce, basil, chives, cilantro and dill. This time around we will try to keep on the weeds and we have placed a anti-rabbit powder around the garden (I believe it is made out to rabbits blood which should scare any rabbit, right?). Also, we have Henry to keep us motivated.

This is the flower garden. Who doesn't garden in a dress?

Henry really helping with the garden.

We'll keep you posted.

Oatmeal

So, this clean eating thing hasn't been too bad. I thought I would be severely limited on foods, but I have found lots of things to eat, including real oatmeal. Now EVERY clean eating blog has at least a few posts about oatmeal, and I wanted to contribute. This morning I made steel cut oatmeal on the stove top with bananas, maple syrup, unsweetened coconut and apples. My whole family ate it, and it was really delicious. It didn't take too much time and it is a huge step up from instant oatmeal. Here, take a look.

Not bad, right? As far as other cooking, I haven't done much. I have cooked stir fry and a few other things, but I am still waiting on some cook books.  I will invest more time this week. As far as how I feel with this eating, I think pretty good. I have noticed that I am starting to crave vegetables, which I have NEVER done before. That is definitely a plus.  I thought I would crave sweet things, but that isn't necessarily so, although I do like my smoothies. I have been making them with almonds and coconut and they are great (well, at least I think so-Aaron and Henry don't seem to like the texture).

Besides clean eating, things have been going well with the kids. Last Sunday Aaron had an interview for a documentary while I took the kids to the park and grocery shopping with no crying or whining the whole time. Now that is what I call an achievement. I should also say that I went to the nursery for rounds and I did NOT lock my keys in the car, also an achievement.

So, all in all a good week.

Nutrition

I've been thinking about nutrition a lot these days. It all started with my mother-in-law's facebook post to get rid or all sugar and wheat in her diet. She had a lot of comments after posting this and one of them included this link.

http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/07/magazine/07FAT.html?pagewanted=all

This article was written in 2002 and besides its anti-doctor rhetoric, it makes for a very thought provoking read. There are a few things that struck me, the first is that they state that no fat person wants to be fat. It's not like they are eating to become unhealthy. This article links the increase of obesity with the influx of low-fat products on the market.  When food is low fat, it becomes high in carbohydrates, which makes a person not as full at the time of eating and makes the person hungry quicker. This leads to more eating, which causes more calories which causes obesity.  This makes sense to me.

After I read that, I went to my doctor database to see what I could find in medical journals. Contrary to public belief, there are some interesting articles. One study showed better weight loss and a decreased cardiovascular morbidity with the low carb diet (versus the low fat diet). Others showed that the low carb diet could raise your LDL (the bad cholesterol) but it also raises your HDL (the good part). There are others, but I forgot the specifics. I want to make something clear, which I say diet, I mean the type of food you eat, not the diet you go on to fit into your wedding dress. The diet I'm talking about is a lifestyle change.

When Frances was about 2 months, my hunger was insatiable. I wanted to eat all the time and it took a lot to fill me up. I know that is due to nursing, but I felt a little out of control. To help me keep accountable, I downloaded a free kindle app that records your calories and has a huge list of food, including store brands and fast food. This helped me control my eating and also helped me make better food choices. My plan has been to eat the normal amount of calories for my weight and not to take into account the breastfeeding. This would make a caloric deficit of at least 500 calories and help me to return to my pre-pregnancy weight. But it isn't all about weight loss. While I'm breastfeeding Frances, I am acutely aware that what I am eating will eventually go to her. I believe that if I eat a varied diet with lots of fruit and veggies that she will be an adventurous eater.  This worked for Henry.

Take for instance, last night. In lieu of my nutritional feelings, I went shopping at Trader Joe's for some "clean" food. I found some great stuff and last night I made baked tofu with quinoa and garbanzo beans. Henry helped me cook and while I was cooking I told him I was making something fun and new. I showed him how interesting the multicolored quinoa looked and let him stir in the garbanzo beans. I wanted to show him the tofu in the oven but he is still scared of the oven thanks to one fire billowing episode (I mean it was a year ago or so.....get over it *sarcasm*). Henry plated the dinner and we all ate. Henry ate it without hesitation and even liked it.  What a son!

Now back to my "clean" shopping. With all my thoughts together, I'm going to try to eat  better. I'm going to give me and my family two weeks to see how eating perfect makes us feel. I think it will be a lot of time and effort, but hey, you can do anything for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks, I will evaluate how it went. I think the best way to eat healthy is the so called "clean" diet, but modified. I think it is important to eat as naturally as possible with a lot of fruits and veggies and eggs and meat. I also think that carbs are not all bad, but that they have been refined too much.  I mean, carbs are complex sugars and complex sugars are in fruits and veggies too. The clean diet says you need to have 5-6 small meals a day. This makes sense because you will never get super hungry, but I don't think it is feasible for me. The clean diet also says you can't drink wine.  I'm going to drink wine. The clean diet does talk a little about low-fat things, but I am going to ignore that and go full fat!


With those modifications, I'm all in... well almost. I'm just waiting for the cook books to be ready at the library.

Behavioral Modification

Let me say first that I think my girl is pretty smart. She smiled early, rolled over a few times (although has stopped now that she developed better balance) and talks and interacts like crazy. The post that I am writing does not indicate in ANY way that I view my child as a rodent, yet some similarities are obvious.

If I can remember back to undergraduate psychology correctly, behavior can be modified by a few ways, mainly rewards and punishments. For instance, in our lab we needed rats to exercise so we built a little treadmill. If they got too far behind they would get a little *zap* and that would be enough for keep them moving. As far as rewards go, their have been many many tests showing rewards work. The most simple test is putting a lever in a cage. When the rat pushes a lever, they get a treat.  Quickly they learn the lever gives them treats and push the lever down whenever they want a treat. If they ever want to make the rat push the lever like crazy, they will give a reward only sometimes when they push the lever. The rat doesn't know when to expect the treat so will push the lever over and over again as fast as possible.

This thought brings be back to Frances. Since she has been born, she hasn't cried that much.  When ever she does, I quickly pick her up and rectify whatever it is bothering her (tired, hungry, poopy, or just needing me).  She has learned in her short little life that crying works. So, instead of the lever, she cries and then gets her reward every time she cries.

Now here comes the new variable. Frances hates the car seat. Let me say that again, she hates the car seat. She will start crying even before we put the seat belt on.  This is the one time we do not give her instant reward for crying. Instead, her reward (getting out of the car seat and being held by us) is completely random. The rat taught us that when there is a random reward, the lever (her crying) is pushed incessantly (she cries incessantly).

Really, she is just applying her basic knowledge to a new situation and doing what makes sense. Unfortunately, it is a miserable outcome. It is hard to perform our normal errands when we know she is going to get really upset. Now that I understand her behavior, I wish I could use my medical knowledge magic to cure it. Too bad for us my magic doesn't go that far.

Adrenaline Junky

When I was in 9th grade, we all needed to choose a specialized swimming class as a requirement. I think there was a lap swim class, a synchronized swimming class and the one I chose, diving and water games. I was excited to try water polo and if I had to jump off the diving board a few times so be it.  Turns our water polo is VERY exhausting and not at all fun when you are playing with junior high boys who try to pelt each other as hard as possible. Why is is fun for young men to hurt each other?   Anyway, I digress.

During the diving portion we learned all kinds of dives including a back dive. First they had us practice from the side of the pool. They instructed us to put our hands up in a diving position and to look at our hands and simply fall backwards. What? They stated that if we look at our hand, our spine goes in a position to make a backwards dive. The secret is that you have to go in full force. If you gets scared and pull out of position, you would do a painful back flop ( like a belly flop but on the other side). In my class there was a very manly-hansome guy. By that I mean that he already had a lot of hair all over his body and his voice had changed.  I still remember his name, but will not put in this blog in case he is the type to google his name (I am that type and since I became a doctor my results are very borning). Still, this guy was actually on the high school diving team, so in addition to his attractiveness, he was a graceful diver. I can still picture his inverted dive.  Those Chineese are no comparrison to him.  After seeing him do perfect dive after perfect dive, it was my turn. We all took turns, which means everyone in the class watches you.  Nerve racking?  Yes!

I took my position at the edge of the pool with my hands up. I stared at my hands and let my body tilt slightly back.  I could feel my body entering the air and my feet were off the ground.  I had to trust that my instructors were right, but what if they weren't? I didn't want pain, but more importantly, I didn't want the embarrassment. I was scared, yet I continued to hold the form.  Adreniline was surging through my whole body, and still I kept the form.  Then I felt it.... my hands hit the water. Then my body after them.  It was the perfect dive (or the perfect backwards tilt)!  I didn't see the hansome guys reaction, but I'm sure he must have smiled and winked at me. As I was in the water I still felt all that energy inside me surge through, creating a jittery happiness. My insturctors were happy and I was able to quickly progress to a full backwards dive off the board. Not once did I do a back flop; I always looked at my hands.  Each back dive I did produced slightly less and less adrenaline until it just felt like a normal dive.  After my rush ended, I knew I had to fine other ways to get back that feeling.

Now, fast foward 18 years or so to this morning. Wednesdays are my day off and I like to sleep in if Frances lets me. Henry has gymnastics every Wednesday morning and Aaron usually takes him, but this week I told him I could go.  You can see where this is heading, right? It was 10 minutes before Henry had to leave and Frances and I woke up. Aaron said he could take Henry, but Henry wanted me, so I agreed and the fun began. Got up, got dressed and presentable, but toast in the toaster, heated up some coffee while Aaron got the kids ready. We got in the car with 2 minutes to spare.

Pulling out of the driveway with my coffee in hand and my two kids in back, I felt it.  Whooo!  The feeling's back baby!

PS Just to let you know, I did get in A in the class even though every other dive was not as perfect as my back dive.  I had quite a few belly flops with the inverted dive and would  like to think that a certain junior high boy never saw those dives.  Although, maybe he did and that is why he never talked to me and that is why he never became my boyfriend, or anything close.  My future could have been changed forever if I could have performed the inverted dive.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

 Today I reconnected with a college friend on Facebook. We wrote a little back and forth to each other and she mentioned how cool I was in college and that I am still probably cool.  That got me thinking, am I still cool? Do I have as much fun as I did?  I fear the answer, but I am quick to justify.  College is all about going out and doing things to help you discover who you are, or want to be.  Now, I know who I am and am exactly where I want to be. I mean, think about it. I have a dream job, I'm a doctor, have a great husband and two wonderful kids. I mean, this is the live I've always always wanted. Tonight I asked Aaron if we have fun, and he too quickly answered no. Umm, he could have thought about it a little.

 Maybe fun now isn't going to the coffee shop every night or going to concerts. Maybe it is cooking with Henry and singing to Frances.  Maybe I'm still cool, but in a mom kinda way. Instead of wanting to pierce my nose and dye my hair pink, I now think of things I could sew and dream about exercising soon (I swear I'm going to start doing it soon). Is that cool? Maybe cool isn't the things I do anymore, but my mentality and sense of humor. Maybe it's cool to love your family and think a great night is when you all watch a Netflix movie together with a smoothie and a cookie.

Honestly, a lot of adult responsibilities have usurped my old "fun" time, which is a bummer, but there is still some time and small measures that we can take. For instance, look at this photo.

Do you know why I took it? Someone was a little excited about opening day and decided to dress their kids accordingly. This is fun, right?  Yes, we are having fun and I am still cool!

My External Heart

Having children changes you in a number of ways, the most gut wrenching is when you feel there is something wrong with them. This little Frances seems to know it AND exploit it.  So, it 3 months of her little life, we have gone to the emergency room twice. Henry has never gone. What a difference. Let me fill you in.

When Frances had RSV one night she was wheezing and breathing really fast. I brought her to my clinic that afternoon and she had an oxygen saturation of 95%. Most normal kids have 98-100 so the fact that she was low was due to her illness. At 95% there is nothing to do, but if it dips to 92% she would need oxygen. That night she was worse then the afternoon so I feared her oxygen saturation had dropped even more, so I brought her in. Once we got to the ER her oxygen sat was 99% so I knew she was doing ok, even if it was hard work.

Number 1.

These last 3 days Frances' has had a little cold. She was doing fine with it and the congestion/runny nose didn't seem to bother her too much, but sometimes it wokw her up from naps.  Yesterday I went to work and Frances had a bad morning and cried for 45 minutes straight for Aaron before finally falling asleep. When I got home, she was doing great and acting her smiley self. When it was bedtime, she started getting very upset. Normally when she cries, I can soothe her pretty easily by walking or rocking. If that doesn't work, nursing ALWAYS soothes her.  That night for the first time ever, I couldn't soothe her. She seemed in pain and just started wailing and there was nothing we could do. Poor little girl.   I felt something was wrong and then Aaron did as well. There is something called intussecption that happens in infants and is basically the bowel folding in on itslef. It commonly occurs after viral infections. They can resolve by themselves, but often they need a little help. They are painful for kids and have many of the symtoms Frances was showing. Before we left, I called Children's mercy and put in a referral for myself. The doctor could hear her in the backgroud and said to come right away. We got in the car and she continued to wail.  It was so tough to hear because it was so obvious she was in pain and I couldn't do anything to help. Well, we finally got to the ER and I got her out of the car seat.....and she was calm.  Three hours of inconsolable pain and now she was quiet.  While in the ER, she was fussy, but I could calm her down. The doctor was a ER fellow that I had worked with and she did great with us.  I actually was happy with all the care from the front desk, nurses, x-ray techs and all. The doctor checked her stool for blood (negative and that is good because intusseption frequently has blood in the stool) and did some x-rays.  One of the x-rays looked a little bit different. I got to see it. The area where intussecption normally occurs had no air in the gut (and everywhere else did). The other x-rays looked normal. We waited for the radiologist to read it and the final read came back normal. I then fed her there and she did great, so we went home. Once we got home, I got her asleep and she slept 8 hours without waking. My poor exhausted little girl. This morning she seems fine, but she has some diarrhea which is not too different from her normal stools. She is currently sleeping on me very restfully.

Number 2,

So, I'm not sure what really happened. It could have been intussecption that resolved itself, but probably not. Most likely it is was just a part of this cold and hopefully she doesn't have that much pain again.  She needs to stop doing this to me. I feel like I'm a reasonable parent and don't freak out at the smallest thing, but this track record she has needs to stop now. I can't keep bringing her to the ER every month. That is expensive and emotionally exhausting.

Still, if she needs it, I will do whatever it takes, because she has my heart.

A Step Back

This last week I rounded at the hospital every morning. I always call ahead to ask how many babies are there for me to get me prepared (and also get them ready for when I come in ). Henry always seems interested in how many babies  I see. The other day he asked me how many babies I had to "fix."

Anyway, one busy morning I had 6 or 7 babies to "fix" and a couple circumcisions to perform. As I was driving there I was thinking of all the things I needed to do before I left the hospital and I was hoping I would have enough time to feed Frances before clinic. I parked in my spot, locked the door and went up. As I was walking to the door, there was a thought that passed my mind saying something was not right. It quickly left my brain as I focused on the babies.

I rounded, cut off some foreskin and finished all my paper work and was ready to go home. I looked in my bag and I couldn't find my keys. Oh man! I asked the floor receptionist and the main lobby if anyone had seen keys (negativo). I thought "maybe I dropped them by my car." As I was walking to my car, I called Aaron to give him a heads up. As I was talking, I went up to my car and found my keys IN my car. Doh!

So Aaron had to round up the kids, get them in the car and drive to give me his copy of the key. Lucky for me Henry had just finished his bath and Frances was in a good mood. I got his key opened my car door and noticed my car was RUNNING! What idiot leaves their keys in the car, with the car running AND doesn't remember they did it?  This one.

Really, I know how it happened. I was never a boy scout, but I still use their motto to "always be prepared."  I do it all the time. I think of the next step and what I need to do after that and after that. I often time forget about the present. For instance, if I am driving and know I need to turn right eventually, I will get in the right lane as soon as possible. When I was getting out of the car that morning, I not only grabbed my bag, but got my pen out of my bag so I could be super ready to write on the charts. Really!  I didn't need a pen for the parking lot, nor the lobby, elevators and floor.  Still, I had it out so when I walk into that nursery I could save 1/2 a second to pull the pen out at that time.  I know, it's ridiculous. The funny thing is that in the end I wasted time and had to sit outside the hospital for Aaron.

This story really illuminates my life.  I need to take a step back, think about the present and maybe even enjoy it for a while.